Updated 15th December 2025 | Fact Checked By Jess Knauf, Co-Founder, Family Law Service
Alternative Dispute Resolution: Your Complete Guide to Resolving Family Disputes Without Court
Key Facts About Alternative Dispute Resolution:
- Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) offers families ways to resolve legal disputes without going to court
- Common ADR methods include mediation, arbitration, collaborative law, and early neutral evaluation
- Most family law cases must attempt mediation first through a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) before applying to court
- ADR typically costs less, takes less time, and creates less conflict than traditional court proceedings
- You can use ADR for divorce finances, child arrangements, property disputes, and most family law matters
- Courts actively encourage ADR and may penalise parties who unreasonably refuse to try it
When your relationship breaks down, the thought of battling things out in court can feel overwhelming. The good news? Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) gives you other options.
Most people don’t realise that going straight to court isn’t always necessary, or even allowed. In fact, for most family law disputes in England and Wales, you’re required to consider family mediation first. But ADR isn’t just about ticking a box, it’s about finding a way to resolve your issues that actually works for your family.
Whether you’re separating, divorcing, or dealing with child arrangement disputes, understanding your ADR options could save you thousands of pounds, months of stress, and help you maintain a working relationship with your ex-partner.
What Is Alternative Dispute Resolution?
Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) refers to any method of resolving legal disputes outside of traditional court proceedings. In family law, ADR has become the preferred approach for most matters involving divorce, finances, and children.
Think of ADR as a toolbox. Court is one tool, but it’s often the most expensive, time-consuming, and adversarial option. Other tools in the box might be better suited to your situation.
The main types of Alternative Dispute Resolution in family law include:
- Mediation – a neutral mediator helps you and your ex-partner reach agreements together
- Arbitration – a private judge makes binding decisions about your case
- Collaborative law – both parties work with specially trained lawyers to negotiate face-to-face
- Early neutral evaluation – a legal expert gives an early view on your case to help settlement
- Solicitor-led negotiation – your lawyers negotiate on your behalf without court involvement
Each method has different strengths depending on your circumstances, budget, and relationship dynamics.
Why Has ADR Become So Important?
The family court system in England and Wales faces significant pressure. Cases can take 12-18 months to reach a final hearing, and costs can spiral into tens of thousands of pounds.
The government and judiciary have responded by making Alternative Dispute Resolution not just an option, but often a requirement.
Since April 2014, anyone applying to court for child arrangements or financial orders must usually attend a MIAM first. This requirement was strengthened further in 2021 to encourage earlier resolution.
Jess Knauf, Co-Founder of FLS explains. “Five years ago, most clients wanted to ‘instruct solicitors’ and head to court. Nowdays, they’re exploring Alternative Dispute Resolution first, and they’re often relieved to learn there are other options.”
The courts themselves actively promote ADR. Judges can (and do) criticise parties who unreasonably refuse mediation, and may impose costs penalties as a result.
Types of Alternative Dispute Resolution Explained
Family Mediation
Family mediation is the most common form of ADR in the UK. Its is also the courts preferred method. A qualified, impartial mediator helps you and your ex-partner discuss and negotiate your own agreements.
Mediation can cover:
- How you’ll divide finances and property
- Child arrangements (where children live and spend time)
- Spousal maintenance and child support
- Pensions and other assets
Sessions typically last 1-2 hours and cost between £100-150 per person per session. Many mediators offer a subsidised first MIAM session.
The mediator won’t make decisions for you or give legal advice. Instead, they facilitate discussions, help you explore options, and guide you toward solutions that work for your family.
“At Mediate UK” – Jess Recalls – “We worked with a couple who’d been separated for eight months and couldn’t agree on finances. They came to us ready to apply to court. After just three mediation sessions, they’d reached a full financial agreement, had it drafted into a consent order, and saved themselves around £15,000 in legal fees compared to court proceedings.”
Arbitration
Arbitration is like private court. You both agree to appoint an arbitrator (usually an experienced family barrister or solicitor) who makes binding decisions about your case.
Unlike mediation, the arbitrator acts as a private judge. You present evidence and arguments, and they issue an award that’s legally binding.
Arbitration works particularly well for:
- Financial disputes where you can’t agree on property division
- Complex pension or business valuation issues
- Cases needing quick decisions
The Arbitration Act 1996 governs the process, and the Institute of Family Law Arbitrators (IFLA) provides specific schemes for financial and child arrangement disputes.
Costs vary but expect to pay £200-400 per hour for the arbitrator, plus your own legal fees. However, the process is usually much faster than court, so overall costs can be lower.
Collaborative Law
Collaborative law brings both parties and their specially-trained collaborative lawyers together for face-to-face meetings. Everyone signs an agreement that if the process breaks down, both lawyers must withdraw, and neither can represent their client in court.
This commitment to settlement creates a different dynamic. Lawyers can’t gain advantage from threatening court, because doing so means they lose their client.
Collaborative law suits couples who:
- Want to maintain a working relationship
- Have complex assets or business interests
- Value privacy and control over outcomes
- Are willing to work constructively together
The process often involves other professionals like financial advisers or family consultants joining the team.
Early Neutral Evaluation
Early neutral evaluation (ENE) involves appointing an experienced lawyer or barrister to review your case early on and provide their view on the likely outcome.
This can be incredibly useful when:
- You have very different views on what a judge might decide
- You want a reality check before spending more on proceedings
- You’re stuck because one party has unrealistic expectations
The evaluator doesn’t make binding decisions but their expert opinion often helps parties settle.
Solicitor Negotiation
Don’t underestimate the power of good old-fashioned negotiation. Many cases settle through letters, emails, and phone calls between solicitors, without any formal ADR process.
Your solicitor can negotiate on your behalf, propose settlements, and help you reach agreement without the structure (or cost) of formal mediation or arbitration.
The Benefits of Alternative Dispute Resolution
ADR offers several significant advantages over going to court:
Lower Costs – Court proceedings for financial remedy cases average £15,000-30,000 per party in legal fees. Child arrangement cases typically cost £10,000-20,000. Mediation might cost £1,000-3,000 total. The savings are substantial.
Faster Resolution – Court cases take 12-18 months on average. Mediation can conclude in 4-8 weeks. Arbitration typically takes 3-6 months. When you’re trying to move on with your life, time matters.
More Control – In court, a judge who doesn’t know your family makes decisions for you. With ADR, you retain control over outcomes and can craft solutions that actually fit your circumstances.
Less Adversarial – Court is designed to be adversarial. Each side presents their “case” and attacks the other’s position. Alternative Dispute Resolution methods are designed to be collaborative, which helps preserve relationships, especially important when you’re co-parenting.
Privacy – Court hearings are generally public, and judgments are often published online. ADR is completely private and confidential.
Flexibility – Courts follow strict procedures and rules. ADR can be adapted to your needs, whether that’s evening sessions to fit around work, online meetings, or breaking discussions into smaller chunks.
Want to get started? Just enter your name and we’ll guide you through the next steps.
Get Started HereWhen Must You Use Alternative Dispute Resolution?
For most applications to court for child arrangements or financial orders, you must attend a MIAM before you can proceed. This is a legal requirement under the Family Procedure Rules 2010.
The MIAM requirement applies to applications for:
- Child Arrangements Orders
- Prohibited Steps Orders
- Specific Issue Orders
- Financial Remedy applications
There are exemptions to the MIAM requirement, including cases involving:
- Domestic abuse (with evidence dated within 24 months)
- Child protection concerns
- Urgency (where delay would risk harm)
- Previous MIAM attendance within 4 months
- One party outside England and Wales
Even when you’re exempt, the court will still expect you to consider ADR before and during proceedings.
In PGF II SA v OMFS Company [2013] EWCA Civ 1288, the Court of Appeal held that silence in response to an invitation to participate in ADR is unreasonable, and parties who ignore such invitations risk costs sanctions.
What Happens During Mediation?
Understanding the family mediation process helps remove the mystery and anxiety.
Step 1: Individual MIAMs You’ll each meet separately with a mediator who explains how mediation works, assesses whether it’s suitable, and discusses any concerns you have.
Step 2: Joint Sessions If you both agree to proceed, you’ll attend joint sessions together (or via shuttle mediation if face-to-face isn’t appropriate). Sessions typically last 90 minutes.
Step 3: Discussion and Negotiation The mediator helps you identify issues, explore options, and work toward agreements. You might cover finances in some sessions and children in others.
Step 4: Heads of Agreement When you reach agreements, the mediator produces a written summary called Heads of Agreement or a Memorandum of Understanding.
Step 5: Legal Review You each take the agreement to your solicitors for legal advice before signing anything binding.
Step 6: Making It Legal Your solicitors can then turn financial agreements into a consent order, or child arrangements into a parenting plan or formal order if needed.
Mediation is voluntary. You can pause or end it at any time if it’s not working.
“We had a client at Mediate UK who was terrified of seeing her ex-husband face-to-face after their difficult separation,” says Jess Knauf. “Our team arranged shuttle mediation where she sat in one room and he sat in another, with the mediator going between them. It worked perfectly, and they reached a full financial agreement without the stress of being in the same room.”
Does Alternative Dispute Resolution Work for High-Conflict Cases?
One common misconception is that ADR only works for “amicable” separations. That’s not true.
Many Alternative Dispute Resolution methods can be adapted for high-conflict situations:
- Shuttle mediation keeps you in separate rooms
- Online mediation allows you to participate from home
- Solicitor-supported mediation lets you bring your lawyer to sessions
- Arbitration removes the need for direct negotiation
Even in cases with domestic abuse (where mediation isn’t suitable), other forms of ADR like solicitor negotiation or collaborative law might work.
The key is finding the right method for your circumstances, not forcing everyone into the same process.
What If ADR Doesn’t Work?
Alternative Dispute Resolution doesn’t always succeed, and that’s okay. Sometimes court proceedings are necessary.
If ADR breaks down, you can apply to court. Your MIAM certificate will show you’ve attempted mediation, satisfying the court’s requirements.
The court will still expect you to keep trying ADR during proceedings. Many cases settle even after court applications are filed, often at the First Hearing Dispute Resolution Appointment (FHDRA) for children cases or the First Directions Appointment (FDA) for finances.
Judges can also order ADR during proceedings. It’s increasingly common for courts to order parties to attempt mediation even after litigation has started.
How Much Does Alternative Dispute Resolution Cost?
Costs vary significantly depending on which method you choose:
Mediation:
- MIAM session: £100-150 per person
- Full mediation sessions: £120-150 per person per session
- Total costs for complete mediation: £1,000-3,000 (combined for both parties)
- Legal aid may be available for those who qualify
Arbitration:
- Arbitrator fees: £200-400 per hour
- Total arbitration costs: £5,000-15,000 (including your own legal advice)
- Still usually cheaper and faster than court
Collaborative Law:
- Lawyer costs: £250-400 per hour each
- Total costs: £10,000-25,000 (depending on complexity)
- Comparable to court but usually faster and less stressful
Solicitor Negotiation:
- Based on your solicitor’s hourly rate
- Costs vary by complexity but typically less than court proceedings
Many people use legal aid for mediation if they qualify. Your mediator can assess your financial eligibility at your MIAM.
Alternative Dispute Resolution and Children
ADR is particularly valuable for child arrangement disputes. Unlike finances (which can be divided once and finished), co-parenting continues for years.
Agreements reached through Alternative Dispute Resolution about children tend to last longer and work better because:
- Parents created them together rather than having them imposed
- The process is less adversarial, preserving the co-parenting relationship
- Solutions can be tailored to your child’s specific needs
- You can adapt agreements as children grow
Child-inclusive mediation (where children aged 10+ can speak to the mediator separately) is available and can be powerful in helping parents understand their children’s views.
In Re C (A Child) [2018] EWCA Civ 1188, the Court of Appeal emphasised that parents’ participation in non-court dispute resolution should be the norm, not the exception, in child arrangement cases.
Can You Use ADR After Divorce?
Absolutely. Alternative Dispute Resolution isn’t just for initial separation and divorce. It can help with:
- Post-divorce disputes about child arrangements
- Variation of maintenance or financial orders
- Disputes about how to implement existing orders
- Changes in circumstances requiring new agreements
Many separated couples return to mediation years after divorce to adjust arrangements as children get older, circumstances change, or new issues arise.
Choosing the Right Alternative Dispute Resolution Method
How do you know which type of ADR is right for you?
Consider these factors:
If you want to maintain control over outcomes: Try mediation first
If you need binding decisions but want to avoid court: Consider arbitration
If you value privacy and constructive negotiation: Look at collaborative law
If there’s been domestic abuse: Stick with solicitor negotiation or other non-face-to-face methods
If you have a straightforward case: Solicitor negotiation might be sufficient
If you need expert input on likely court outcomes: Request early neutral evaluation
Your solicitor can help you choose the most appropriate method based on your specific circumstances.
The Future of Alternative Dispute Resolution
The Government continues to actively encourage family mediation as a first option for resolving disputes, recognising it as a key form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR).
This is reflected in the ongoing £500 Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, which helps eligible parents with the cost of mediation relating to child arrangements. ADR is only set to become more important in family law, with a clear policy direction towards expanding mediation services and reducing reliance on court proceedings wherever it is safe and appropriate to do so. Mediation is increasingly viewed not as an optional extra, but as a central part of the family justice system in England and Wales.
Online Alternative Dispute Resolution platforms are growing, making mediation more accessible and affordable. Video mediation became mainstream during the pandemic and many families now prefer it.
The courts continue to strengthen requirements around ADR participation. Recent Practice Directions emphasise judges’ powers to order ADR and impose costs sanctions for unreasonable refusal.
“We’re seeing a real cultural shift,” observes Jess Knauf. “Ten years ago, mediation was seen as a ‘soft option’ or something you tried if you couldn’t afford court. Now it’s understood as the sensible, practical first choice for most families. That’s better for everyone, especially children.”
Frequently Asked Questions About Alternative Dispute Resolution
Can I be forced to go to mediation?
You must attend a MIAM to get a court application signed off (unless you’re exempt), but you can’t be forced to continue with mediation after that. However, refusing to attempt mediation without good reason can result in costs penalties if you later go to court.
What happens if we reach an agreement in mediation but my ex changes their mind?
Mediation agreements aren’t legally binding until they’re turned into a court order. That’s why it’s important to get your solicitor to draft a consent order for financial agreements, making them legally binding and enforceable. For child arrangements, you can either use them as a parenting plan or apply for a Child Arrangements Order.
Is Alternative Dispute Resolution suitable if there’s been domestic abuse?
Mediation is not usually appropriate where there’s been domestic abuse. However, other forms of ADR like solicitor negotiation may still work. If you’ve experienced domestic abuse, you’ll be exempt from the MIAM requirement and can apply directly to court. Your safety always comes first.
How long does ADR usually take?
Mediation typically takes 4-8 weeks from your MIAM to reaching an agreement, usually across 3-5 sessions. Arbitration takes around 3-6 months. This compares to 12-18 months for court proceedings. The timeline depends on how quickly you can both attend sessions and how complex your issues are.
Will using ADR make me look weak if we end up in court?
Not at all. Courts actively encourage Alternative Dispute Resolution and view it positively. In fact, unreasonably refusing ADR can make you look difficult and result in costs penalties. Attempting ADR shows you’re reasonable and focused on resolution.
Can I have a solicitor with me during mediation?
Standard mediation doesn’t include solicitors in the room, but you should get legal advice between sessions. However, some mediators offer solicitor-supported or lawyer-assisted mediation where legal advisers can attend. Collaborative law also has lawyers present throughout. Discuss options with your mediator if you’d prefer legal support during sessions.